Wake Me Up Inside
by Krys1
Summary: Rogue explores an edgier side to herself after a new power starts to control her.
1. Nightmares

**Title:** Wake Me Up Inside

**Author: **Krys

**E-Mail: **firerebellion@yahoo.com

**Rating: **R

**Category: **Rogue/Logan, Rogue POV

**Summary: **Rogue explores an edgier side to herself after a new power starts to control her.

**Disclaimer: **If I owned them, I wouldn't be sitting here in front of my computer writing this. *Grumble*

**Notes: **This fic was inspired by the awesome song "Bring Me to Life" by Evanescence. The title is from a line in the song. I'm in a little bit of a dark, gothic mood as I'm writing this, so beware. The first chapter may be confusing, but everything will be explained in latter chapters.

*

**Chapter 1**

 Ever have those moments where you're not sure whether or not you're in a dream? This would be one of mine. I see myself walking down a cobblestone street at nightfall, having nothing but the moon's light as my weapon against the blackness. It's so cold; the kind of cold you feel right down to the bone. I pull my cape tighter around my body in an attempt to salvage what little warmth I have, but it's of no use. Beneath my cape, there is only a flimsy nightgown; not nearly enough clothing for this little journey. I wonder bemusedly how it is I'm not dying from hypothermia or frostbite by now. Definitely must be a dream. It has to be, although I don't ever remember feeling coldness quite like this in past dreams. It feels too… real.

 My head begins to spin and my legs are aching from walking such a distance, so I'm not surprised when I trip and fall over nothing, injuring my head on the stone. The final destination at this point no longer arouses my interest; I'm far too tired and hurt to move. Maybe I can just lay here and close my eyes, and I'll wake up comfortably in my own bed. After attempting just that, I find myself still here. Maybe I accidentally absorbed someone at the mansion while I was sleeping, and this is one of their memories. But then why am I here alone? Why am I here at all?

 A flash of white and my thoughts are soon forgotten as I find myself in my room. Jubilee is fast asleep on the other side, seemingly oblivious to everything that just happened. I then start to believe that perhaps it _was_ a dream – no – a nightmare. That is until I feel something wet on my forehead. I touch it with a white gloved hand and see the blood from a gash I don't remember getting. Running to look in the bathroom mirror, I see a person I don't recognize staring back at me. I'm wondering if this is a nightmare within a nightmare. It's then when I hear screaming, waking up everyone, but no one comes. They're all too used to this happening. The screaming finally ceases with dawn's light, and as I lay awake in bed, I wonder how I'm going to talk with my throat hoarse and my voice now gone.


	2. Three Shades of Gray

**Chapter 2**

Morning arrived in three shades of gray, matching my mood perfectly. I hear the forecast is 'slightly cloudy with a chance of rain', and I try to remember the last time I've witnessed a beautiful day. It seems all I ever see outside my bedroom window is gray. Or maybe I'm just unable to see outside of myself. Maybe I don't care anymore.

 I hear others getting up with the light and getting ready for the day, yet I'm invisible underneath my fortress of blankets. I think I heard Jubilee or Kitty ask me if I'm coming down for breakfast, but then again, I'm not sure. I think I've heard a lot of things. I hear them day after day, night after night; living their life normally – or as normally as mutants can live for that matter.

 I sit here and wonder how long it'll be before everyone goes off into the world – a world that hates and fears us, yet depends on us in some twisted way. They need the X-Men to protect them from the _real threat; the dangerous mutants out there. But then again, we're _all_ dangerous to them. White or black, strong or weak, good or evil. Doesn't matter. We're all the same to them. And in a way, they've all become the same to us. Funny how the world works sometimes._

 It's strange how I look back and see the kind of person I've become. I'm so different than what I used to be. I think everything started changing when Jonas came to the school. The day he arrived, I remember, it was the worst hail storm New York has seen in over twenty years. It was almost an omen that things would be changing, and so they did. Scott and Jean cancelled their engagement not too soon after. Storm was injured in a battle with Mystique, Logan left to some unknown location, Bobby broke my heart with a 'just friends' speech and my parents no longer acknowledged that I was their child. The only thing good happening in my life would be Jonas. His carefree attitude about everything began to rub off on me. He would get into trouble and actually enjoy it, and pretty soon he had me getting into trouble right along with him. And before I knew it, I was enjoying it as well. When I'm with Jonas, things don't seem all that bad. It's like he has this magnetic energy about him, drawing me in until I'm completely lost in him. And I think I like it.

 Jonas and I have this connection that extends far beyond friendship, but not quite love. Something just short of need. Power? Perhaps. Funny how it feels like you know so much about a person, and yet you don't really know them at all. He never told me one thing about himself; his full name, where he came from, or even his mutation is a mystery. Maybe it's better this way. All I know is, things have been changing around here, and it's all been building up. Only a matter of time before there's an explosion, and I have a feeling that I'm at the center of it.


End file.
